Judge Sasuke 02: The Case of the Gay Ninjas!
by Aldamonburst
Summary: The next crazy case for Judge Sasuke! But since this has some more dirty terms, it'll be teen. as you can already tell. It might not be as funny as the last one though, but wel'll see. A gay couple is among the leaf, and Sasuke is on the case to see who


**Burst: Yay! A new Judge Sasuke! Oh by the way, chances are I won't say in any other stories, but my dog Max died recently which means I'll be doing my best to keep a positive attitude in this, and I'm only continuing to avoid all the emotional junk that'll make me feel worse. I dedicate this fic to you ya crazy fuzzy dog! Now then, so you know, I won't use the marus in the names. Everyone enjoy this freaky court case.**

**Court call number 2! The case of the Gay Ninjas!**

_In a ninja world where thinks ain't right, Judge Sasuke is on the case! As long as he isn't getting busy with the bailiff. (Orochi: Oh la la! Sasuke: Get away from me you transsexual! Orochi: How'd you know?)_

Sasuke, this time in a gray robe with his clan's symbol on it, slammed his gavel. "Bailiff! Read the case!" Sasuke ordered. The bailiff, Orochi, was wearing a creepy green snake skin cheerleading outfit, which everyone was afraid to ask why. Orochi nodded. "As you wish. In case you want to know, the Black Ops captured the insane Gaara and restrained him. While the guard ran after I made him crap himself, I surgically removed his sperms. Now then. This case, Konoham, er, konohala, let's call him Kono for now. Kono reports somewhere he witnessed two leaf ninja having gay love, but was knocked out and his memories were scrambled. He remembers the couple in a way, but it's together with two fakes in his head so he has no idea which it is. Soon we will test these supposed gay couples. Any questions?"

In the jury there were 5 people. Naruto, Hinata,Neji, Lee, and Mr.T. Mr.T, who was in a sumo outfit, was the one raising his hand. "Where's the fool who knows the couples?!!" Orochi pointed up to a TV screen above Sasuke's head, which soon showed Kono's face. "I'm going to take over the world you puny humans!" He yelled, only to scream a second later. Itachi's face appeared on the screen glaring. Itachi looked down at everyone. "He didn't have enough hatred. That and he owes me five bucks and I have a cattle prod. Don't worry though, because I have his list." (Author's note: I have no intention of explaining the events in Shippuden, so ignore it if the Uchihas get along.) Sasuke turned around and bowed to him, revealing his boxers, making Orochi and Naruto smirk in different ways. Sasuke sat down and Itachi sighed. "If my presence could interfere with your hatr- I mean usefulness, please leave now." Eager, Naruto and Hinata ran out of the courtroom.

"Yeah, they're probably going to have dirty sex now. When do I get to lose MY virginity? " Neji thought annoyed. "I wonder if Sakura likes men with chest hair? I only have a lot on my-(I can't say it. Just guess.)" Lee mumbled under his breath. "How do I end up in a place with so many fools?!!" Mr.T thought angrily.

"Now let's begin. Itachi, the list?" Sasuke asked. Itachi cleared his throat. "The first suspects are Sakura and that girl who apparently hasn't had a cut in over a year, Ino." The girls came in wearing kimonos and glaring at everyone. "If Sakura is a homo, so be it! Then I shall have a sex chan- ugh!" Lee was interrupted by Neji, who poked a pressure point on his neck, which made him sit. "How can you think we're a gay couple, Sasuke-kun?" The girls asked together. "The notes say Kono saw you two going into a shady bar together in those kimonos." Itachi said. "We were going to pick up some boys!" Ino whined. "Kono just assumed things!" Sakura added. "What do you think Sasuke boy?" Orochi asked. "They're clear. But they're filthy whores, so throw them out." The emo judged replied. Orochi grabbed the two with his tongue and started to walk, till they both kick him in the nuts. Then they both screamed, because his balls fell out on the floor! "Argh! Now I have to put on new ones!" Orochi dropped the two girls, who ran out still screaming, and ran into the lady's room. Sasuke burned the sac and after barfing, everyone continued.

"Next up, Kakashi and the idiot who teaches rock lee." Itachi announced. The two came in wearing bathing suits, and Lee ran out screaming. "I like your kid Guy." "Shut it Kakashi!" "Let begin Itachi." Sasuke ordered. Itachi nodded. "These two are suspected of being homosexual because they went to a hot spring called lovebird paradise." "Objection! We went there to test how long we could stand on water with our chakra!" Guy yelled. "Jury, what's your response?" Sasuke asked. "Big brow is too much of an idiot to even get a guy." Neji said, causing Guy to cry. "I pity the fool with that bad haircut and tiny nipples!" Mr.T said. "Thank you Neji for your opinion. Mr.T, what the heck?!" "Are we guilty or not?" Kakashi asked. Sasuke shook his head. "Neji's right. Guy is an idiot. You may leave." The nodded, Guy still crying, and left.

"Bring in the final suspects!" Sasuke yelled. In came Choji and Shika. "God I hate you Sasuke." Shika muttered. "Itachi, why are they suspects?" Sasuke asked. "They were seen with their lips touching." Itachi replied. "In my defense, Shika had ketchup on his lips!" Choji argued, and Shika smacked him for it. "Did his lips taste good?" Sasuke asked. "Maybe." "Choji you moron!" Shika yelled. "You two are sentenced to cleaning Naruto's bathroom for a month! Bailiff!" Sasuke called. Orochi charged out of the restroom in a purple bikini. He grabbed the two with his long tongue and threw them out of the courtroom. "Maybe I should've warned them it's Mexican food month at Naruto's house." Sasuke muttered. The screen above Sasuke turned off and Sasuke slammed his gavel, dismissing everyone. Sasuke and Orochi looked at each other grinning. "The plan worked. No one else knows." Sasuke said. "Let's do it in your bed this time." Orochi said. The two walked out together. A few minutes passed and the screen turned back on,. Itachi's face there. "You don't have enough hatred." He said, looking at you.

_That was Judge Sasuke! Next up, birthday suit bake-off!  
_**Burst: End! Oh, sorry if I sounded corny earlier. Also, sorry if this fic wasn't as good as the last one. Adios! **


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